Another Struggle

The fight between one's inner child, and the adult one is expected to become...

There comes a point in everyone's life when they are expected to grow up, get their head out of the clouds, and their feet planted firmly on the ground, ready to take on adulthood. And though most of us are ready to cut ties with our childlike wonder and get to work in some sort of grey slab of an occupation, some of us are not.
Once you are of this age, there is really no hiding it, (unless of course you are one of those people who will always look like a twelve year old, no mater how old you get) and society will automatically begin to expect adult like things from you.
This is represented by the woman, of course, because she is obviously an adult.
Then there is your inner child, an d depending on how much dictation he or she has over your mind, it is going to be difficult for you to silence it long enough for you to take on what adulthood is planning on throwing at you.
This is represented by the the two transparent balloons, keeping the woman's feet as far as possible away from this solid ground of adulthood she's been imagining ever since she was a young girl. They are nearly invisible, causing the woman a bit of internal conflict as she fights to join her childhood friends who have grown into strong, intelligent young adults, but to no avail. She knows it's herself keeping her away from this blindly pursued goal, but does not know what part of her it is, and therefore cannot do a thing to end it's control over her mind.
Then there is one's heart. The most cliche part of the human being, sitting right above the mind on this list, and what the heart wants is nearly impossible to fight, and is often the exact opposite of what the mind tells oneself is necessary.
The large red balloon represents the heart, which is high above the mind, keeping them in balanced opposition. It keeps her hands secured safely behind her back, helplessly caught between the fabled battle between the heart and mind.
Yes, now that this has been explained, it either ruined the image for you, or made it all the more interesting to look at.

I will rant about how it applies to my own life below.



Lately in my life experiences, I've noticed more and more that people expect me to act in an adult way when I feel like I'm still fighting through my childhood.
So I continue to act like a child, but I fight to be treated as an adult. I desire things such as freedom from my family's rules because we obviously do not think on the same page as far as what is okay and what makes them look like bad parents. I feel that I am old enough to make these choices for myself, because I can think for myself, therefore I should be able to act accordingly.
Then there's the needs of my family. My mother is disabled. She had a failed back surgery on my first day of middle school and ever since I've been forced to behave in such a way that I had never known before. I was expected to take care of whatever my mom needed to the best of my ability, and everyone else was expected to help. This lasted for a while, but only until everyone else found a way to squirm out of their end of the deal.
For the past few years I've been in charge of anything and everything my parents could manage to pin on me. I feel very taken advantage of, and at the very least I would expect since they want me to act like an adult, they would also give me the freedom that comes along with it. But they do not.
I feel like most of my childhood has been stolen away from me under these circumstances, and now all my friends I've known since moving to Virginia are grown up, and ready to take on the world, when I haven't even had the chance to step out into it.
I wish every day that I could go back and experience everything, not just the bad things I've been through, but the good and better things I always missed out on.
I'm not done being a kid, but I want to be allowed to take a taste of adulthood. It's an ongoing battle between me, myself, and the ones I love.